Resisting Fatalism

I can't resist having high hopes and aspirations at the beginning of the year. Whether they are personal goals or desires for positive changes in the world, I always find myself making plans and forecasts--that are quickly dashed upon the rocks by forces well beyond my control.

2026 has so far followed this pattern:

• On January 2, news coverage broke about Elon Musk's Grok AI being used to undress anyone, including minors, to create nonconsensual graphic imagery. The situation is horrifying.
• On January 3, the US abducted Nicolas Maduro, throwing Venezuela into political disarray and likely embroiling the United States in another years-long overseas conflict.
• On January 6, in the insular but all-too-influential world of evangelicalism, news broke that Philip Yancey had had a years-long affair and would retire. (This feels minor compared to the other developments in this list, but it is part of the news I follow nonetheless.)
• On January 7, Renee Nicole Good was shot and killed by ICE. The FBI, which is run by a man who wrote a children's book series that casts Trump as a king, is refusing to work with Minnesota police to investigate the shooting.
• On January 8, two more people were shot by ICE in Portland.
• Meanwhile, over 2 million documents from the Epstein Files are yet to be released.

These are just a handful of stories that have been developing in the last nine days. The people with the most resources, power, and plans have the worst ideas and aims, and their only recourse is dominance and violence.

This is the social backdrop upon which we are expected to live our lives: to care for our loved ones, to raise our children, to work our jobs and pursue our passions. It feels unrelenting and unavoidable, and as if the only way to survive it is to ignore it so we can stay focused on what we can control, or to numb ourselves in some fashion.

Honestly, even writing this all out and deciding to share it has an air of futility to it. I don't know that sharing this will matter to anyone but me, and even if this post exploded and got tons of views if it would have any lasting impact or just be seen as the simple coping mechanism that it is.

But if there's anything I'm still resolved to do at the beginning of this year, I'm resolved to refuse to believe that things are too big or too far gone. The forces that want to keep us in our place, keep us distracted, keep us disorganized and fractured, were not built up in a day, and I should not expect that my own limited capacity as an individual should be able to match those forces one to one.

So I refuse to give up hope, and I refuse to throw up my hands and in resignation. I will do the things that we all have to do: care for my loved ones, raise my child, work and pursue my passion and calling. But I am resolved to do so in a way that both doesn't deny all that is happening and doesn't deny my capacity to take some action that matters.

Perhaps after all these years my nervous system has calibrated to the way things are and I am less overwhelmed. Perhaps I am fueled by simmering spite and rage. The exact reason why matters less than the simple act of refusing fatalism and nihilism, and finding ways to contribute toward building the equitable world I want to live in.