At the Urbane Arts Club
Last week I traveled to NYC (my first time ever visiting the city) to speak on a panel alongside Mattie-Jo Cowsert, Josiah Hesse, and BK O’Connor. Two memoirists, a novelist, and me. The panel was expertly moderated by MJ, and followed up by a lively Q&A. I finally got to meet my book editor Lauren O’Neal in-person, see old friends, and mingle with folks. The venue, the inimitable Urbane Arts Club in Brooklyn, was delightful and partnered with a local bookstore, Taylor & Co to sell books for us to sign. I had an incredible time and was very fortunate to participate.
This event also reminded me how online discussions are utterly distinct from what happens in person. I plan to write about this in length soon, but logging onto digital spaces like Bluesky/Threads/Notes/X & Instagram/FB feel like entering a room where there’s been combat—less “someone cooked here” and more “someone fought here.” It’s confusing and disorienting, and you don’t know how what you want to say might be received. Jason Pargin expressed it well in a recent TikTok:
”Imagine if your job was to everyday go and perform at a venue, but the venue is completely dark. You cannot see how many people are there. You can kind of hear a crowd, but you can’t tell if it’s 100 people or a million people.”
This is what being online is like for most of us: just throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks, what elicits a reaction (that you’ll have very little ability to respond or contextualize), what “breaks through” the algorithmic opacity we all know is there but don’t understand.
That’s why in-person events can be so refreshing. The audience is in front of you, not behind a screen separated by hundreds or thousands of miles. It is qualitatively different. And I am grateful for both experiences. Without digital spaces, I would not have met or learned of my fellow panelists; at the same time, the experience was enriched by happening in person instead of over Zoom.
Watching MJ’s pilot, appreciating how Josiah seamlessly brings up The Music Man multiple times, and listening to BK talk about the power of rediscovering matriarchal mythologies was an absolute joy, and it was an honor to be a part of it.
I’ve had Josiah on the podcast to discuss his book, and plan to have Mattie Jo and BK on the show as well.
You can buy all their books below (disclosure: these are affiliate links).
Enjoy this photo of all of us where I forgot how to hold a book.
